Rain
by Asphyxiated Angst
Summary: Lita finds some closure as she looks through the broken window one rainy night.


Rain

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Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the storyline.  
Pairing: A bit of John Cena/Lita  
Category: WWE  
Summary: Lita finds some memories and closure while looking through a cracked window one rainy night.

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Theyhad beenstanding outside in the pouring rain that night. Rod Stewart music hadplayedsoftly through pitter-patter of raindrops splashing against cold, hard cement.

She wished that she had known; known that it was the last time that she would ever see him again, known that he wasn't even in love with her to begin with.

She looked through the window. The glass was broken as she watched as the storm played through her mind and thinks of all she could have said, and all that she left behind.

She has nowhere to run and hide anymore, now that she's caught in a daydream as the world rushes past her in a flurry, leaving her there, all alone.

The sun rises and she wakes, it sets and she thinks, as the stars twinkle she stares outside, nostalgic look on her face and it all blurs together until today is yesterday and today is always a day away, because she lives in a dream and she's left all alone with nothing but memories of what used to be.

She wished that she could change everything but she cant do anything anymore. She loves him so much – so very much – that she would give anything just to know where he is.

She knows that she'll always carry him inside her heart and she knows that he will never know how much she wonders – how much she wishes to know – where he is.

And she still knows – she thinks that she will always know – that he will always take a part of her away with him and she still loves him – she knows she will always love him – even though she never got to even say goodbye.

She turns slightly, looking in the mirror.

She looks into it – hazel eyes swirling with colour and concentration – and the only thing she can see is the past – she sees yesterdays from so long – so very long – ago.

She can see herself – tears falling from closed eyelids, mingling with the large raindrops – red hair sopping wet, small rivulets of water falling from her ponytail. Hands clasped in front of her chest, head tilted downwards as heavy-lidded eyes opened, to look down at her baggy camouflage pants and tight black singlet top. And now she can see him – standing in front of her, blue eyes opened wide, hands lifting her head, pulling it upwards towards him then leaning down towards her, lips fusing together.

And with every hour she can do nothing but hold on to what she – no, what they - had.

And now she is staring down the barrel of a .45 as the pictures fade away and they are lost in moment and now they are fading away into the starry night. And now she can hear his voice and it calls out to her, it calls out her name and it fades away.

_"Here's my heart…" she started, clasping his hands tightly in hers, placing them over her heart, her pretty hazel eyes welling with tears. "I'll let you break it…" and the promise was sealed with a kiss._

Because she never…ever said goodbye…

And now that night is just a memory and though she can still feel him standing there, beside her, when she thinks of him, she can hear his voice and all she can really hear is the rain.

And now her eyes stay focussed on the mirror and the tears wont well today – she decides that they will never fill up with tears again – because she is all cried out.

"…because cutting is the only way to feel…" she remembers him saying as she digs the razor into her skin, drawing blood, watching as it collects before falling – drop by drop in small crimson tears – onto the white fluffy carpeting.

"…everybody needs somebody…" she remembers, as her eyes drift off into another world.

She watches the drops of blood fall and then she remembers again. "…every tear tells a story…" and she thinks that's just what the little droplets of blood are – tears – tears of betrayal, tears of reminiscence…tears of all that was, all that is…and all that will be, of what will always remain.

She closes her eyes and he fades away…like tears in the wind and now she's sorry that she couldn't be – and that she still cant be – everything that he's always wanted, she's sorry that she's never been his perfect little Barbie doll, she loves him and she doesn't know if he sees that.

And now she's sorry that he didn't realize how much she cared for him.

And now her ears pick up the gentle melodies of Rod Stewart and she tucks the end of her bandage within itself.

And now she could feel him, standing next to her and when she thinks of him she thinks of his voice, she thinks of the rain.

The door flies open and one of her hands flies to her mouth in shock.

"You're soaked…" she stated, hiding the shock in her voice with expertise.

"Well it is kinda rainin' out there an' all." He stated bluntly, rolling his eyes, despite the situation.

"You never let me say goodbye…" she whispered softly, voice almost void of all emotions. "I guess it's time for us to say it now and get it over and done with, let the past stay where it belongs…so have a nice life, John…goodbye." She said, voice holding a trace of sadness as he bent down for one last kiss – chaste and full of innocence – she held her head up high and closed the door on him, blinking away the tears that filled her large hazel eyes.

It didn't even matter anymore.

So she picked up her daughter - Kelly Catherine Dumas-Cena - and tucked her in...he never knew..he never would...and now he was gone with the rain.

A ghost of a smile graced her lips as the 2 year old's baby blue eyes opened...she bit her lip...he would **never** have to know.

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Notes: My muse kept annoying me until I got this out. If you don't like it…well…quite frankly…tough cookies. I accept constructive criticism, flame me but I warn you now: I bite. Drop me a review and check out my other fics: 'Feeling' and 'Once In A Lifetime'. 


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